I went jogging this morning with Lennon, and I realize how miscommunication occurs when the right words aren't used. Yesterday he talked to Rick and I bumped into them in the middle of their conversation when he said, "Debbie is full of shit". Instead of storming out like a little girl like I used to, I told him to elaborate another time because I had a Kou Yu Presentation to prepare for right after class. Last night he texted me to go jogging, and I wasn't in the mood to go jogging with him because as much as I didn't want those words to bother me, it did that night. This morning, I asked him about it and he elaborated saying that the statements I make are interpreted differently by both of them. Fair enough, I said I was a Democrat but he claims that I am a Libertarian at heart. I really don't care about the labels but I don't want to label myself when I don't know what Libertarians believe in until I research it for myself. He also said that Rick and he interprets my statements differently, and that's where the contradiction lies. Rick gets me because he's alot older and mature and holds similar principles that I do, so I knew I had to clarify it to Lennon better. The point is, the reason why friendships can be harmed is from communicating with the wrong words. If he said that yesterday Debbie is a democrat but she holds libertarian points of views, our friendship would be better and we'd have longer conversations. I explained to him this morning that as much as I try to objective whenever possible, because I am a female, and I do get emotional, he has to know that full of shit can be interpreted as an attack on a person's character. How would you feel if someone said that about you? I also walked into a conversation hearing that about me and thought why am I a topic of debate? Why are you telling people I don't know who I am and what I believe in when I know I know myself? People tell me since I was a little kid, I don't get jokes or sarcasm, and until this day I'm ok with that, unless people use that to humiliate me. In short, if you want to maintain friendships, don't talk about the person, use the right words to clarify it's their point of views you don't understand.
He also said, "I'm sorry, I assumed you didn't care". According to Robert Kiyosaki assume is a killer word. If separated, it is "ass-u-me". A simple sorry would've made me feel alot better but because he doesn't take personal responsibility that it hurt my feelings, pleading ignorance as an excuse for making those statements, that is why people might not listen next time.
Two other things I notice that naturally make me zone people out is using big words and talking down to me. Because Lennon knows I am a business major, he would use economic principles that I've totally forgotten first year of college and not remind me what these principles say. I don't even think I cared about the name of the principle. Sometimes he throws words around and I don't know if he knows he's using it correctly or not. Then when I ask him to remind me he would say, you don't even know and you are from Wharton. At the end of the day, I am just like you, I need to be reminded so I understand the point you are trying to make. It is also humiliating if you can't treat me like everyone else. I've never said I knew everything. That is why I object to using labels. When you are labelled, there are general assumptions made by the other party that you know this. Some financial planners don't know what is the right investment choices you should make because he is trained to repeat the same salespitch and that is why you can be screwed at retirement. In sum, when you talk to people, use lamen's term. With imperfect information, you don't know who knows what, or maybe they just don't remember.
This is not a bash on Lennon's character. It is pointing out what people might want to know when they communicate with others. I don't represent everybody but I think people naturally feel this way. I am helping him improve his words, I think. I've never claimed to be a writer, but I am critical about the words I use to make sure you understand where I'm coming from. That's all.
Another thing that I paid attention to this morning was when Lennon said rich CEOs screw the poor. I said no, they have personal responsibility to the middle class and the poor. Robert Kiyosaki explains it succintly in the "Prophecy". The rich do this by contributing to charities and taking care of their employees and customers by upholding their credo. They first have personal responsibility to their mission, then their employees, and then to themselves. Corruption may exist but it can't exist in the long term, like Enron. Accountants, shareholders, and employees, will make sure of that. In our system of checks and balances, if you screw us, we screw you. It works vice versa. And if they keep all the money to themselves, how could they live with themselves knowing that they screwed their employee? Because at the end of the day we are all humans and not a statistic. We all have the same wants and needs. In fact, some people lose sight that we were once minimum wage employees. We live in a dog-eat-dog world, but you don't have to compromise your principles in order to advance in society. It is a system and we have the option of choosing not to play the game either. But financial education is necessary to understand that.
I got the question, "why do you want to be financially free?" I want to be financially free so I can enjoy life so I can have more time to spend with family and the people I care about. I also can't stand seeing my parents working each day earning the same wage knowing their lives will never change unless I do something about it. I also want to have time to learn and maintain my health. I write this so I don't lose sight in the future if I had to choose between working all my life vs. time with family and friends. Some people don't have a reason so when they do attain success they lose themselves and become miserable. Money is a perception but if you can make more you can invest in those things that you care about, enjoy, and love. And I think that is worth fighting for. If I remind myself this is my goal, I won't lose sight of why I do what I do everyday.
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