"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

I just finished the book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". For those who say they misunderstand the opposite sex, this is a must read! Wow I never realized how different sexes misunderstand each other because of biological reasons which result in communication problems. I've noticed when I talk about my day to certain guys, they try to find a solution to my problem when all I want is for them to listen and empathize. It may sound irrational, but all I want is for them to say oh wow that sucks or have comforting words. Not try to fix a problem. And I notice that some guys don't really say anything. It's not even a sign of indifference, and its better just not to ask any more questions. The book also pointed out that we need to ask guys what we want. It reminded me of the first year of college when my roommate kept on asking her boyfriend for stuff and I thought she was overstepping her boundaries and using him was a bad thing. But apparently its a sign of love. We can expect him not to know and just say it to the point and directly. But all in all, everyone needs love. We just just fueled by it in different ways.

I like spending time with William. It's because I can be me. He also listens. We also enjoy life. The more I think about it, the more I realize that you can be hurt a bazillion times and still live through it. So just act on it, and after that vulnerable feeling goes away, it feels empowering.

My Good Luck Charm

I had the best four days I've had in a long time. It's all because of my bike. Seriously, just riding it around gets me to see people who also ride around, and I've had lunches and dinners with random people.

First off, the day I got my bike (Saturday), I rode it to the foodrepublic at ZhongguanCunPlaza. While there, I had the BEST chicken curry dish in a long time at the foodrepublic. Plus the Food Republic is essentially a health zone, emphazing fruits and eating right. I had an energizing smoothie for about$1. Then, I went to a coffee shop to read a book and have redbean with ice. It was fantastic. Right before I left the store, I heard an up and coming singer promoting her album. She looked like most girls in Beijing (very beautiful and young) wearing jeans and a nice top, but most of all, she had an amazing voice and it radiated within the plaza. I think she won some Chinese idol competition. I could be so wrong, but I'm glad I got to see someone who will be very famous in the not too distant future.

Then on Sunday, I rode my bike because I had to stop studying, and fortunately I met two of my favorite down to earth friends in the program, Bennet and Billy. Then we went to the Medicine House to eat some black chicken soup, kungpao chicken, and tomato and eggs. I thought it was nice, because it was a comfortable atmosphere and I had good company.

Then, when I went onto the elevator to bring my bike back to my room, I ran into William and Lydia. William, I haven't seen since Nanjing. Before Nanjing, I hadn't seen him since Zhengzhou. I figured it was time to have a nice chat. It was probably the best decision I've made. We talked until 3 AM about Buddhism and just enjoying life. Hen fang song!

Then William and I decided the next day to take the train to Chaoyang District. We stumbled onto the Pink line (THE NEW LINE), and it was just as amazing as Nanjing's, BUT even cleaner. We wanted to go to Maggie's, a foreigner's place. But when we got there, the guard asked me if I was really a foreigner. Then I spoke English, but he wasn't convinced. So we couldn't go in. Then William tells me that in the book he read, Chinese people are discriminated upon entering. Talk about feeling rejected. When we talked to the taxi driver, he even told us that if I wasn't there, William could've entered. He also said it was a whorehouse and most of the time only guys go there. *.* Then we went to Sanlitun to check out people, just a fun activity. But there was no one there on a Monday night. So we went to Houhai. It was so romantic. After walking into bars and being chased by a girl who tried to sell William flowers, we went back to Sanlitun for pizza, sandwiches, and carbonated drinks. I don't eat at12 at night ever. But since he paid an arm and a leg, I just broke a habit. No problem, it is just one day of my life, it was fun.

Today while I was riding my bike after studying, I stumbled onto Henry, our favorite KouYu comedian. He said he had tickets to CCTV, so I skipped one class to go. Since the media is controlled by the government, so I wanted to see how shady this was. IT WAS SHADY. We looked outside the location and it looked like a run down factory. Then you go inside and it looks like the SNL set in New York City, boundless technology. It was so fake though, because they said it was live on camera. And then, they made several cuts everytime the host would sweat or stumble on his words. The contestants were planted in the audience, although they looked randomly selected. And if the audience did something stupid, we'd have to work on our behavior. Talk about control. We left at some point. Before we left the factory, we watched another program being taped with a 5 guy boy band promoting their album on a TV show, like Regis and Kelly. Only the guy was Chinese, and the girl was Russian (SHE SPOKE PERFECT CHINESE and Henry called her a milf). The girl said something wrong, so they cut it, and the boy band reperformed their routine. I enjoyed watching them, but I'm disappointed that a live show was redone, and it loses the personality of the hosts. They're like robots.

Then, the other Henry who drove us there talked about how Beida was government patrolled. I never realized this until now. THERE are alot of government cars and officials on campus. Why wouldn't there be? Beida students participated in the mishap at TianAnMen and caused alot of riots in Chinese Modern History and the government needs to control that or else more people could die. We passed by the Marco Polo Bridge, where the Japanese invaded and killed Chinese people. It gets CHILLING when you live in Beida and drive through places where alot of killings took place. Henry also said his mom's friend lived in Beijing 20 years ago, and the biggest road we drove on (ZHONG GUAN CUN) used to be farmland. It's changed alot. Older people have no idea where they are in this perserved but quickly developing city.

Oh, at CCTV, I was with two Henry's and a different William that plays Badminton from Canada. When we got back to campus, William from Canada rode my bike and I thought he was so disproportional because of his height, like Nick's situation. After all, my bike's wheels are awfully small, but adorable. I played Badminton with him. I loved listening to his smashes. It sounds like Janiene's, only that because his arms are so long, he didn't have to jump or move far to control the net. I WATCHED IN AWE! I saw quite a few amazing players tonight, and they play it like the book. They hit it at the sweet spot, kept clearing, and stayed on their feet. It brought back memories of high school, only they played at a level I've only seen on TV. I totally respect that, except when I wanted to join the club, they said because my experience is not enough, they don't want me to be apart of it. That's ASHAME! These are world class players, and four years of high school Badminton isn't even enough to enter the club, not the team.

But anyway, my bike has brought me good luck for the past three days. I recommend getting a bike because I've seen so much more, eaten so much better food, and I come across incredible people. I've only had my bike for five days. Whoever told me its too late to buy a bike clearly doesn't have one.

This Weekend

I started thinking about how I only have a month and a half left. This is essentially what occurred this weekend.

1. I got hit by a bus.
2. Got a milkshake from McDonalds.
3. I bought a bike.
4. I went to club Taku.
5. found books for Wharton for $20.

Yeah, so I didn't want to walk to WuDaoKou, so I hopped behind Bennett's motorbike. We tried to squeeze in between a bus and we didn't make it. He fell when his seat flew off, I fell when my face slid on the slide of the bus. It happened in a matter of seconds. We weren't hurt. But we could have been. I'm shaken, but on the upside, we are alive AND in one peace.

When I made it to Wudaokou, I saw that McD was opened. It reminded me of the time when I missed the train to Shanghai over the summer with Ling, Jenn, and Geraldine. So Siwen brought me to McD and I had my first milkshake at McDonalds. I've always been against fast food restaurants, but that night I made an exception.

Yesterday, Nick and I talked about buying those bikes with small wheels. He looked so cute because he's so tall and the bike is so small. We bought two matching ones today so we can ride to class as a pair. I rode all over Beida today. It was worth it, because I realized I know nothing about my campus.

Nick, Ben, and I went to Taku for Ben's birthday. While there, an Argentinian girl picked up my phone number and asked me to dance with her again. She was nice. Then I danced with a Spanish guy, which Ben agrees was really cute.

We went to the bookstore and I found that so many books I paid an arm and a leg for in college are worth $20 here. better load up! Let me know if you guys need any.

It's been exhiliarating, and its only Saturday.

Memoirs

CIEE has notified us that a magazine is seeking submissions from students who study abroad in China to write about their experience in order to promote studying abroad. I like that. It gives me a reason to start on my memoirs because I didn't have an incentive before and this blog has become more of my daily occurances unrelated to China. If I get published, great. If I don't, at least I have something I can take back home and read to my kids someday.

Win-win.

I just finished reading "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. The 7 habits can be summed up in two actions, keep your word, and include the people in your life so you can live a meaningful life. He emphasizes trust. To foster it, you have to make yourself proactive, focus on your ultimate goal, and organize your schedule to accomplish the value principles you hold dear. But the schedule should be flexible so that independence can be transformed into interdependence, because we live in a society that needs to cooperate with people that surround us. It makes sense, you should appreciate those who are the same and those who are different. I guess the difficulty I find is that some people make it an effort to persuade you that their position is right, some people talk for the sake of talking, and it's draining. I advocate surrounding yourself with a positive group that make you better. It's a personal challenge to tolerate the idiosyncracies of assholes. But that's why its important to focus on self and not get sucked into the influence of a group, but cooperate with a group to develop synergy. Alot of what I read is common sense, but it instills meaning to personal choices I make on a daily basis, and each decision counts. All these books also have the disclaimer, "these are not manipulative tools, you should use them out of sincerity". True.

More CEOs should read books.

A Day with Jeremy

A pleasant wind from Hangzhou brought a familiar face to Beijing, JEREMY, our Residential Director from the CET program. He visited Caoyin and I at Jiang Ma Ma's restaurant. He said absolutely loved the pho, which I was glad because he lived so far away from the Chaoyang District. As a guest in our city, he even paid the whole bill. Then we went to Qi Jiuba, which I thought was actually a jiuba (bar), but it was the Art District of Beijing. Then we took photos together. At the end, he took us to a coffee shop and bought us smoothies. Actually, at the very end, he accompanied us to the bus to go back to our universities.

I love Jeremy! I haven't had a memorable day in a long time. Was it because he spoke Chinese the whole time? Was it because he kept texting us every five minutes with absolutely hilarious commentary about his misadventures? Was it the topics we talked about? Was it because he paid the bill? Was it because his coming required alot of other small things we had to do? Yeah it was everything.

A topic we spoke about briefly is dating and marrying outside your race. Jeremy's wife is Chinese, so essentially his kids are adorable. He said, even if the guy is ugly, in this case, the caucasian chinese mix will guarantee cute kids. He also never relied on his wife to learn chinese, because that was their agreement before their marriage. He did it on his own, which I fully respect. Before this, or before China, I had this internal bias that I would never date or marry outside my race. Why? Because I was never attracted to, interested in, or curious about other people. That was just my philosophy of life. Then I went to Hangzhou. Wo de sixiang gaibian. Na bufen was probably a bad thing, but you gotta take the good and the bad, and you can't regret your choices. Anyway, who knows maybe I'll date someone older than me who is outside my race. He also gave us advice about choosing the right chinese programs and improving our chinese. It was quick, and avoided all the frustrating "meiyoubanfa" answers.

Jeremy's chinese is superb. Caoyin and I just love listening to him talk because we haven't heard a good chinese speaker in a long time. He's also really funny. We just kept laughing about everything. It was completely irrational and I wasn't even intoxicated. I've actually never been intoxicated. Anyway, the smoothies covering our financial expenditures made each moment enjoyable without any fan nao. It also gave me an excuse to call Jonathan and Steven about tongxinlian and Jeremy's dianhuahaoma.

Sometimes I like being in control of my day, but when good people come, I can't help but have a good time. We need more Jeremy's in this world. It's even better because he came when we least expected it. It's refreshing.